The beauty of virtual relationships is that you can end them as quickly as you started them. Remember this: B is for BLOCK!
Sometimes you are having a perfectly normal conversation and then, BOOM! He sends you a dick pic because unrelated to your conversations about work, but he thought it would cheer you up?
Or she text stalk you and pretend that you are already her partner even though you haven’t even met yet. “Hey Babes, what are you up to today? Oh, who you going for drinks with? Want to meet up afterwards? During? Before!” Er no, we are not on that level. Please chill.
B is for Block
I have just discovered that on most phones you can block someone and you should. Block those who have turned into a pest or strange or, sometimes, downright disrespectful. The palpable aggression and cursing is not something you need to tolerate. But you have to be careful not to over block just because you are upset because they disagree on football teams or who was the best Bond (Sean, duh!) or Doctor Who (I don’t care enough which may be part of the problem).
Recently I was talking to a guy who on the surface seemed nice. In just a few days, I had picked up that he was overly complimentary given that we had never spoken on the phone, and I told him that the ongoing compliments about my figure were sweet but unnecessary. I was told to chill and learn to take a compliment. He then called me many names and pronounce that was why I was old, bitter and single. I later found out that this gem is married!
Don’t Accept BS!
Apparently we are meant to accept this kind of behaviour and see it as a sign that they are just really emotionally involved and just liked us a lot. Like hitting and teasing at school. The problem is that we are all nice, lovely people who just want to find someone to love. We believe in inherent goodness and do want to give everyone a chance. A chance to explain, to tell us why they mistreated us, to prove us right and that they aren’t like all the others.
It is tempting to keep people around but I question the validity of this argument as someone who hasn’t learned basic online etiquette such as not calling a stranger names or sending incessant messages or inappropriate photos isn’t someone I would feel safe around in the real world. Ultimately, it isn’t primary school. We need not deal with people who can’t handle their emotions online.
Don’t Invite Them Back
But, often if you let them back in, they take this chance and either compound the issue with yet more lies or turn it on you and you become the person at fault. It’s not acceptable. If you have been disrespected then block and move on. Don’t look back or lament what might have been just block.
If you can’t face blocking them because you still think they are a nice person who is just a jerk when irate then, don’t block to teach them a lesson. Just mute them so their messages don’t come up on your phone. Or delete them, although you may find that you get their messages and have to now figure out who they are. I say block and keep your dating energy space free for someone who knows how to act.
If you’ve spoken to them on your phone then block them in your contacts
Block them from your WhatsApp contacts list
Block on the app you met them on i.e. Tinder, Plenty of Fish, Match, etc
It’s easy to forget one of these key steps and end up with a stream of abusive messages because, funnily enough, nobody enjoys being blocked even if they deserve it.