Attract Your SoulmateThe dating world is overwhelming. Daunting. Exhausting. You go on date after date. Or maybe even have relationship after relationship, without finding your soulmate. I have good news for you – you can attract your soulmate. Yep, it’s entirely within your own control to attract The One for you. How?

5 Tips to Attract Your Soulmate

1. Take a good look in the mirror

I hate to break it to you but chances are you are the common denominator in all your failed relationships. Ouch, right? But on the bright side, that means you are in control of your situation. So, take that hard look in the mirror and determine what behaviours are causing you to fail. Do you have insecurities that a causing you to be attracted to a certain man? Are you settling for men you know probably aren’t good for you and then wasting your time with them? What hidden emotions or beliefs are causing you to do that? I’m not saying this will be easy, but if you can come to terms with some of your limiting behaviours, then you can work on them. And once you have that mastered, the rest will be easy.

2. Figure out what you want

Are you looking for your soulmate, or just a friendship? Do you want marriage? Do you want kids? What are you looking for in a relationship and what does love look like to you? Answer yourself these questions. These have nothing to do with whoever your soulmate ends up being. This is about you and your values. What is important to you? Honesty. Integrity. Humour. Patience. Virtue. Family values. Kindness. Spirituality. You get the idea. There’s no right or wrong list. It’s 100% yours.

3. Figure out what qualities you want in your soulmate

So now that you know what is important to you, you can start figuring out how that translates into qualities you’re looking for in a mate. Maybe you want kids, so you would want your ideal match to be good with kids. Maybe laughter is important to you, so you want a man who is funny. You want a stable home life, so you want a match with a well-paying job that makes him happy. Or maybe you want to travel the world, so you want a man who is spontaneous, worldly and patient. See how that works? These qualities do not include things like how tall he is or what kind of car he drives. Those are material things. We’re talking soul qualities here – ones that match up with the ones you identified in yourself above.

3. Be open & take action

This doesn’t mean that you constantly have to say yes to every event you get invited to – I used to hate feeling guilty about not going to an outing or party because you ‘just never know!’ – and that mentality is exhausting and daunting. So let go of that guilt and feeling of obligation and be selective in choosing a few opportunities. Join a co-ed gym, or attend social mixers/networking events. Standing in line at the coffee shop? Put the phone away. Talk to the person in line next to you. It doesn’t matter if they are young or old, male or female, just practice those skills of engaging with people around you. Opening yourself up to opportunity is a key step in attracting someone to you.

4. Be happy & let go

If you are truly happy with yourself, confident in what you are looking for and being open to opportunities, I promise you that opportunities will present themselves to you. And because you now know exactly what you are looking for, you can decide quickly whether someone has potential, hence you’ll waste a lot less time and feel okay about it. And in the meantime, just enjoy being single. Be happy with your life. That is the most attractive quality you can have. And it’s empowering. It gives you control over your own life. Why worry about what he’s looking for in a woman, or how you can make him like you? It’s more effective to know exactly what you want and then evaluate if he’s good enough for you.

Read about my journey in deliberate attraction here.

Latest posts by Elli Raine (see all)