I know what you’re doing. You’re brooding over “The One” that got away, rehashing the arguments and the very moment you walked away from each other for good. You wonder what you could have done differently. Are you wondering if there is still or could ever be a chance to get your Perfect Mate back into your life? Are you trying to line up the Reasons You Lost Your Perfect Mate. Well, allow me to enlighten you.
Top 5 Reasons You Lost Your Perfect Mate:
1. You Lied To Them
This is the enormous fish in a small pond. It doesn’t matter the lie you tell, one way or another, you will be found out. Whether it was a tiny fib like feigning sickness because you didn’t have the heart to tell them you wanted to stay home or a big secret like neglecting to tell them you were still living with your ex (or worse!), lies and secrets have no place in a relationship.
Since trust has a major bearing on any relationship, understand that the minute you make someone doubt you is the very minute you begin to lose that person. Always be honest. If someone doesn’t like the answer to a question, that is for them to figure out, but if you are honest, it makes your bond stronger.
2. You tried to be Someone you’re not
This goes along with fibbing. Is it not a lie to be someone you aren’t? If your mate doesn’t like certain qualities that they find within you, you might try to stifle your personality to “better yourself” for them. Maybe you think you will please them more or be more attractive to them if you adjusted who you are to their liking. It is always possible that they pointed something out about you that upsets them.
It could be their insecurities about your outgoingness, it could be how loud you sneeze, it could even be how often you talk to your mother. If you try to be someone you’re not to please your mate, it binds you to eventually bust at the seams when the real you wants to be let out and be free again. If you try to be someone you’re not, it will put stress on your relationship. Stop this.
3. You Took Advantage of them
Thank you. Those two paltry words can carry a relationship farther than any other combination of words. How often has your mate made you dinner, listened to you vent, taken care of your children, opened a door for you, or just was there beside you daily and you neglected a simple “Thank You”?
Not only is it common courtesy, but it shows your mate that you see what they do for you and you are grateful for their time and their caring. Did you ever stop to think what seems routine to you in your relationship could change in an instant if someone feels taken advantage of? Think about the things that your mate does every day without your asking and thank them. Thank them for being a part of your life.
4. You Tried too hard
Has anyone ever told you that you try too hard? There is such a thing. Just because you and your mate are opposites doesn’t mean you need to conform to their liking and be a mirror image of their personality. You’re a science geek, they’re a jock. You don’t need to pretend to like sports to make them happy, and they need not learn all about micro-organisms to impress you. You are already in a relationship. There must be some spark between you. You also need not wait on them hand and foot, constantly showering them with gifts or affection to buy their love.
5. That wasn’t your perfect mate
Guess what? I will help you right here and right now. I know this is never easy, but it’s time to Let Go. It’s okay. Breathe. Everyone comes into your life for a reason whether it is the grocery store clerk or the mate you had for months or years. We live, we learn, we move forward. If you are no longer with that person you thought was “The One”, then they weren’t meant to be The One for a lifetime, they were only meant to be in your life for a certain amount of time. Let go.
If you push to be with someone who isn’t right for you, all you will have is more of a broken heart, more drama, and more time wasted when “The One” could be right outside your door. Breathe, Let Go, Learn from your time together and move forward. This is your time to shine. This is your time to Be Guiltless.