For my first #SWEXPERTS post, I wanted to start with rule #1 for dating and just life in general:
Rule #1: Be Confident
Be confident in who you are. Love yourself. Yes, I know. It’s so cliche, but it’s my number one rule.
No, it’s not because I believe that, “you can’t love someone else until you love yourself.” However, there may be some validity to that, but what is more important is that you know how great you are.
Here’s the issue. Dating is a roller coaster. If you want to have the highs, you’re going to have the lows. That means there will be guys and/or girls who are going to make you feel like you’re just the lowest of the low. It’s likely going to be the same person who made you feel like you were sitting on top of the world. When that goes awry, you need to be able to look in the mirror and believe yourself when you say, “their loss.”
Forget Being “Good Enough”
I am always hearing, reading, and seeing women talk about how they aren’t “good enough.” I mean, what is this? I get it. Society tells us we have to be this and that and the other. Forget about that. You don’t want society to love you. I mean, yeah, that’s great, but the ultimate goal when you’re dating is to find that one person that loves you more than all of society. They’re out there. And you’ll find them. And when you do, you’re going to know that you are and always have been more than “good enough” in their eyes.
That’s what you need to understand. It’s imperative. Stop trying to be society’s ideal. Be your ideal! Once you learn that; once you know that you are your favourite you, it’s easy to look at people and say hey, “if you don’t like me, fine. Someone will.”
You deserve to be with someone who knows that you are great and most certainly more than “good enough.” When you believe that, it’s much easier to carry yourself with your head high. You know any guy is lucky to have the opportunity to be with you, and you deserve to be treated with respect. You deserve to be with someone who knows that you are great and most certainly more than “good enough.” However, you also have to know that you are equally as responsible for doing your part in a relationship.
But Don’t Be “Too Good”
You want to keep your head high, but don’t keep your nose up. Be confident in who you are as a person, but don’t let your head get too big for your shoulders. Know that as lucky as you know that men are to know you and have the chance to be with you, you are equally as lucky to have a chance to be with them. And if you don’t feel that you are equally as lucky, that means you’re settling. That means, you need to take a step back, remember that you are more than “good enough,” be confident in that and go out and find someone that is way more than “good enough” in your eyes.