It’s an old theory, but one I tend to agree with, that you cannot expect anyone else to truly love you if you don’t love yourself. And loving yourself doesn’t just mean taking care of yourself. It means really accepting and loving the person you are and not looking to another to fulfill you or make you happy. So you’re looking for love? Love yourself first.
You Can’t Hide Your Feelings
You’ll come across as someone with self-doubts, insecurities, and in need of validation. The way we feel about ourselves, no matter how hard we may try and hide it at times, is in fact nearly always visible to those we come in contact with. If you approach dating or a possible relationship with low self-esteem, feeling that the person you want to connect with won’t like you, won’t want you, that you won’t be good enough. You’ll project that view of yourself. You’ll come across as someone with self-doubts, insecurities, and in need of validation.
Take a Look in The Mirror
Focus for a while on only your good points. Take an outsiders view for a minute, the whole picture is what they see. You may be obsessing over some body or face image or another ‘flaw’ you perceive you have but to most people that’s a bunch of stuff they’ve never even considered. They will consider you as a whole package. Focus for a while on only your good points, then find the humour and humanity in your bad points and really, truly find a place in your heart for YOU!
It just may be your confidence and self-esteem that’s holding you back. Look around you, find a busy spot with lots of people moving through and take a while to really open your eyes and look around. We’re all different, we all have perceived ‘faults’. There is no perfect, only what’s perfect for you. Or another. And as we’re all different, you can’t really live trying to be perfect for someone you haven’t met yet, huh? Don’t try, just be. If you’re worried there’s something about you, that’s prevented you from finding love so far, it just may be your confidence and self-esteem that’s holding you back.
Remember, Remind Yourself
Check-in with yourself now and again. I’m British so I won’t suggest looking in the mirror every morning and reassessing your love for yourself. That’s just silly! But do give yourself a quick grin when you’re cleaning your teeth in the morning from time to time. Do feel happy with yourself. Spend time with close friends and family who make you feel good about yourself. Spend more time on doing the things that make you feel good about yourself. Listen to music that makes you smile, wear clothes that make you feel sexy.
Go Out With a Bang
Loved up with yourself? I do hope so! Now go out there with a bang and start dating with confidence. There’s nothing more attractive than a positive outlook, a genuinely happy smile, and someone who looks like they’ve got their shit together. So to speak …
- Unrequited Love: Why Can’t He/She See We’re Made for Each Other? - June 27, 2019
- Looking for Love? Love Yourself - May 11, 2019