Dating Sucks by @LifeByteStory

dating sucks

Dating Sucks by @LifeByteStory

“Dating sucks.”

 

I hear this from all of my single friends regularly and many times from my married friends too. I actually think the fact that dating does indeed sometimes suck is what keeps the divorce levels from skyrocketing.

 

I was pondering this today and wondering WHY dating sucks. It really shouldn’t suck at all. Think about it, you get to shimmy out of the ratty sweatpants you wear EVERY DAY at home, put on the cute new outfit you just bought and go out someplace fun. Dating allows you to meet new people and learn about their lives, families, likes and dislikes. You get to DISCOVER each other and that should be amazing, fun and interesting, not…well…. Sucky (can you think of a better word to use here? I can’t)

 

So what’s the problem? Well, there are several but I’ve narrowed it down to what I think are the top three:

 

Our Expectations Are Too High

I remember playing “Barbie” dolls with my girlfriends as a pre-pre-pre-teen. Our Ken doll always figured prominently in our scenarios. He was Perfect, great hair, great job, he cooked, he helped clean, he always brought roses. Who can live up to that? And don’t say you’ve outgrown that…you haven’t. He still lives in your head somewhere.

 

Solution: Kill Ken (or Barbie, if that’s your preference). Not literally, just the one that lives in the youthful recesses of your brain. Look at that new person sitting across from you and just enjoy who they are. You may be surprised at how they become your new “perfect”.

 

Our Lives Are Over-scheduled

Again, I’m guilty of this myself. I sometimes get emails through Match.com, or whatever other site I happen to be on, and my first thought is “I’m so busy and do I want to waste my time on what, statistically, will be a one date wonder?” It’s our inner Social Secretary, freaking out because now there may be yet another multi-tasking conflict.

 

Solution: Fire your Secretary. A quick drink or coffee date doesn’t really take up more than an hour and a half to two hours of your week. If you don’t click with this person, you really haven’t wasted that much time. And if there IS a chemical reaction…well…we all know we’ll make the time to see more of that person.

 

We’ve Become Cynical And Jaded

Let’s face it, if you’re over the age of 25 or so, you’ve most likely had your share of jerks, divas, and other assorted losers. I’ve sometimes found myself wondering if I haven’t become a loser myself. Am I past my “freshness date”? Am I doomed to be the crazy lady who lives with four thousand cats because she never found her soul mate? It’s an easy depression to fall into when you’re single and dating.

 

Solution: Don’t Worry, Be Happy. When you’ve fallen into the cynical trap remember, your life is perfect just as it is! You’re smart, successful and have amazing friends and family…you’re a catch. Walk into your next date with that kind of confidence and just enjoy the encounter for what it is…meeting a new person and having a great conversation. We really underestimate the power of confidence and joy when we date. Trust me on this, it’s the ultimate aphrodisiac…use it well my friends, use it well.

 

 


If this article gave you the confidence to find your match, try Singles Warehouse today!


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2 Comments

  • Rita Chand
    December 17, 2012

    Dating is a little bit like exercise. Which also sucks. If you can find something you love to do, then it’s awesome. But until then..it sucks. I used to think the same. And then I realized it could continue to suck, or i could shift my context about it. And then, it was fun again. And it isn’t always. I have to keep reminding myself that it’s fun. 🙂 But as long as I could stay detached from it, it was fun. Any time I found myself getting attached to a certain outcome, it sucked. I’m not sure how that translates into the every day world of dating, but it worked for me.

    • sharonpod
      December 17, 2012

      Keeping dating fresh is all in the attitude! Sounds like you found a way to do that 🙂

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