The First Phone Call by @lbigfoot
I had a bit of a heated discussion on Twitter with a lady who claimed that in today’s world of online dating, there is no need to make a phone call, just go out and meet the person. This is a matter of opinion. I really believe in the first phone call.
Why make the first phone call?
In a short phone call, there are a lot of things you can establish:
- You find some kind of common ground with the person. You can actually find out if the person has some level of intelligence and understands your sense of humor.
- Their voice or laugh is not a total turn-off. For me, a whiny, squeaky voice is a real no no.
- You are not speaking to a Ms. MotorMouth as I mentioned in my book, “Kill Me Now!”
- The person IS who you were emailing. Sometimes it is a worried parent who tries to “help” and will end up ruining things, or even a friend. Although you do not know if it is the friend that you are talking to. In an episode of “Body of Proof”, Dr. Megan Hunt’s mother set her up with a guy and even suggested that the guy go to her workplace. Hunt was shocked.
In essence, you can find out whether you are wasting your time or not.
Remember that when you go on a date, you get dressed nicely, drive out to wherever and then meet only to find out that you have no common ground or any other initial problem. Your time is valuable. I was told that a gentleman always pays on the first date. I am not going to argue, but your pocket is also an issue.
So what do you do?
When you feel comfortable enough, it’s time for a phone call. There is no formula for the number of email messages before phone numbers are exchanged. But remember that with emails or chatting, you can get a false sense of intimacy and chemistry. One person I spoke to suggested up to three emails. I personally prefer less than that.
If you’re a woman, you can send your number, and ask the guy to give you a call. If you’re a guy, send your number but offer to call her if she sends you hers. I have had women calling me.
My suggestion to making the call is to call when you are hyped, probably after sport. The endorphins that are released will help you. However, if someone calls you and you are not in your best mood, ask them to call back.
Before you make the call, make sure that you about a half an hour to talk. I personally prefer first contact to be 15 minutes. None of us want to get false hopes. There is usually only one phone conversation before the first date, so you need enough to time to find out whether you are comfortable talking to the person on the other end. If the other side meets your satisfaction, then you can set up a date at the end of the call.
I leave you with this video:
[youtube height=”HEIGHT” width=”WIDTH”]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwZEYOZLMqE[/youtube]
Get out and date, my friends!
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