SOCIAL NETWORKING: THE EARLY RELATIONSHIP KILLER? by @DatingAdviceGrl
While we have rules and guidelines for almost everything in life….we don’t we have rules, etiquette, or a code of conduct attached to using various social networking sites? Facebook and other sites can cause such a headache when used haphazardly. We are in the midst of a full on social networking etiquette epidemic! Here’s one single girl’s social networking issue…
(Is our addiction with social media killing our relationships?)
Dear Dating Advice Girl,
I just got out of a relationship and I am now dating a few men, some of which are “friends” of mine on facebook. It’s hard to not notice their facebook page and witness who else they are dating as pics get uploaded, etc. This “in your face” facebook thing kinda sucks! I just would rather not know. I’m writing to you because I just saw pix of the one I REALLY dig, with another woman. (please note, he and I have not made any commitments yet to each other) I am sure there is a better way to deal with FB and dating than I am handling it. It’s all so new to me and my tender heart. Can you offer any advice for handling all the facebook weirdness?
If you have issues with a love-interest’s social media page, the bigger issue may be the status of your relationship. That’s the problem with social networking sites. Your love-interest might post inappropriate pics to facebook, but even if he or she doesn’t post weird pics, someone else could post pics and tag him or her. If you have issues with a love-interest’s social media page, the bigger issue may be the status of your relationship. If you’re not into the idea of your love-interest being with other people, even though you haven’t had a talk regarding commitment, simply suggest setting some boundaries in your new relationship. If no commitment has been made and both parties are dating other people, it’s a little demanding to start asking them to change their social networking content to accommodate you. The most you can do without sounding territorial is let your love-interest know in a joking, roundabout way that you’ve seen a variety of their ‘fun’ social media pics and you’d like to somehow be a part of it. Saying something like, “Wow! I saw some of your facebook pics and it looks like you’re having a ton of fun without me,” can be enough for your love-interest to realize that you are paying attention to their online life and want a bigger role both online and off. Only say something like this if you can say it with a sense of humor to keep things light. If you confront your love-interest with this statement, in a serious way, early in the relationship, you’ll come across as jealous and somewhat controlling even if that isn’t your intention.
If you like someone enough to potentially end things with your other suitors, it might be time to have a conversation with him or her. It’s better to discuss issues than to ignore them and become a virtual stalker. Remember you are also seeing other guys, so your love-interest could very easily feel the same way about you and the photos you’ve posted on your social networking page. Are you willing to possibly change your posting habits if your love-interest is bothered by some of your content? Before you bring up this conversation, make sure you are ready to potentially adjust your social networking habits if he or she has concerns with your site as well. It’s only fair…
When you aren’t in an exclusive dater, it’s sometimes hard to deal with the random things you happen upon on friends and lovers facebook pages, but it is always okay to respectfully bring up issues or concerns to someone you share your time, energy and body with. The trick is to discuss issues without being overly accusatory or aggressive in the early months. That can be a huge turn off and can turn a small issue into a big blowout. Ultimately your love-interest’s reaction to the conversation may foreshadow the outcome and seriousness of your potential relationship. Beyond that, don’t just go along with something even if you aren’t comfortable with it. Yes, on the surface it’s just a facebook page, but beyond that it’s a glimpse into a love-interest’s life, personality, family, friendships, and classiness, among other things. And in that case, thank goodness for social networking sites, for they are a great tool to help us get to know the truth behind who we are dating in both the real world and our virtual world.
The Dating Advice Girl
If this article gave you the confidence to find your match, try Singles Warehouse today!