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You match with someone who seems perfect. The photos are gorgeous, the chat flows, and within days you feel a real connection. Then the excuses begin: they cannot video call, they cannot meet, and somehow they always need a small favour. If a flicker of doubt has crept in, you may be asking what is catfishing and whether the person on the other end of the screen is really who they claim to be.
This guide explains exactly what catfishing means, why people do it, the warning signs to look for, and the practical steps that keep you safe while dating online.
What is catfishing, exactly?
Catfishing is when someone creates a false identity online to trick another person into a relationship, usually a romantic one. The catfish borrows or steals photos, invents a name and a backstory, and builds trust over weeks or months. The motive might be emotional, financial, or simply the thrill of deception, but the common thread is that the person you think you are talking to does not actually exist.
The term took off after a documentary of the same name, and it has since become one of the most common risks of meeting people on apps and social media.
Why do people catfish?
The reasons vary more than you might expect. Some do it for money, slowly building a bond before asking for help with an emergency that never ends. Others are lonely, insecure about their appearance, or exploring an identity they feel unable to show in real life. A smaller number do it out of boredom or to manipulate someone for attention. Understanding the motive matters less than spotting the behaviour, because the impact on the person being deceived is the same.
Warning signs you are being catfished
No single sign is proof, but several together are worth taking seriously:
- They always have a reason they cannot video call or meet in person.
- Their photos look professional, heavily filtered, or too good to be true.
- The relationship moves very fast, with strong declarations of love early on.
- Their stories do not quite add up, or details change over time.
- They eventually ask for money, gift cards, or help with a financial problem.
- They have very few friends, photos, or tagged posts on social media.
How to check if someone is real
A few simple checks go a long way. Suggest a quick video call early, because a genuine match will usually be happy to. Run a reverse image search on their pictures to see if they appear elsewhere under a different name. Look for a consistent, lived-in social media presence rather than a brand new profile. One of the easiest safeguards is choosing platforms that make real contact simple, which is why many people prefer dating apps with video chat built in.
What to do if you have been catfished
First, be kind to yourself, because catfish are skilled at what they do and anyone can be taken in. Stop sending money immediately and keep all messages as evidence. Report the profile to the app or platform, and if money has changed hands or you have been threatened, report it to Action Fraud. Then give yourself permission to grieve the relationship you thought you had, even though the person was not real. Knowing what catfishing looks like is the best protection for next time.
Frequently asked questions
Is catfishing illegal?
Creating a fake profile is not in itself a crime in the UK, but using it to defraud someone of money or to harass them can be, which is why reporting it matters.
How can I tell a photo is stolen?
Upload the image to a reverse image search tool. If the same picture appears on other profiles or stock sites under different names, treat it as a serious red flag.
Why would someone catfish if they never ask for money?
Not every catfish wants cash. Many are driven by loneliness, low self esteem, or a desire for control and attention, so emotional manipulation can be the whole point.
